Rapid Escalation

New video, I tried to make a video demonstrating James Marshall’s principle about slowing your speech…but instead the girl gave me her number!

About to head off on The Eurotour next week, so stay tuned for more video antics!

A student asked me about meeting girls at university the other day during The Masterclass.

This response is partly influenced by Sasha Daygame and partly by our inner game wizard coach Shae Matthews.

The closer you come to evolving yourself, acheiving your goals or really changing, the more your ego will go into overdrive trying to protect yourself, and create the most insane excuses.

In the lead up to The Masterclass I’ve spoken to so many guys and heard a lot of excuses that are just based on fear.

It’s something myself and Shae Matthew’s have worked into our coaching program: how can we change your inner game so you stop making excuses?

If you want to get pushed past your excuses in the real world, come join me for my Month of Mayhem Program! Two spots left in the last class before I leave for James Marshalls Eurotour!

I went out to film a video of my 25 Kiss Rejections Mission which was a mission I developed shortly after finishing The Masterclass and ended up making out with two girls my camera man met on the street!

A report from March this year, forgot to post it.

This is a long story, so the gist of it is I met a girl on the street, went on two pleasant dates, then she read my sex blog and invited me over to her place to ‘get in the spa…and bring drinks ’. What started as me going over for a swim and sex I ended up spending 30 hours with her. Blowjobs from daygame are the best. Meeting a stranger on the street and going from saying”Hi” to the point where their lips are around your cock is an awesome way to feel connected to the universe.

We met in the city during rush hour. I was crossing the street when our eyes locked. Time slowed down, she smiled at me, and I said “Nice glasses”.

“Thanks!” she grinned, a mid twenties looking dark haired artsy dream (turns out she was 34!) She made it very clear that she was impressed that I stopped her on the street. Not every girl you talk to during the daytime is going to be impressed by you approaching her, but the rejections are worth it for the ones that respond well to it and admire your balls (figuratively and literally).
Speaking of balls, I heard an amazing quote the other day (unrelated but funny):

We kept chatting and the vibe was very playful. She commented again on the fact that it was cool that I approached her and I told her it was better way to meet people than going out to clubs and getting drunk. I told her about the ‘Aussie Lean’ which is James Marshalls description of typical bogan/redneck/bro/lad game: guys drink so much that they’re stumbling and swaying, which means they end up leaning into the girls they’re talking to, which is the only way they know how to escalate physically. I did a demonstration of this on her, and she played along and giggled. It was great to see her so relaxed with my touch, and not weirded out by this strange role-play at the tram stop surrounded by commuters.

I took her number and we texted back and forth and agreed to meet in the city. We only met for an hour, but I focused on just keeping my speaking to a minimum and allowing her to talk. This was one of the most massive changes I had to make on myself while I was doing the Masterclass, and its something I still have to keep in check. When I was younger my nerves would make me fill in all the silences with my blabbering and not leave any room for the girl to share anything. The only time the girl would be able to interact was when I asked them a question and put them on the spot.
On this date I was a bit nervous, but instead of talking when I felt nervous I just breathed. She ended up sharing all kinds of fascinating things with me and I kept thinking ‘Wow, imagine if I had been talking right now, I would have missed out on all this funny and interesting stuff she’s telling me!’

So the lesson is: STFU and leave space to let her talk.

She told me about her job as a house sitter, which means she doesn’t ever have a permanent location, but never has to pay rent. Rich people who go on holiday just let her stay in their house, so she gets to live a glamorous lifestyle rent free!

“Excellent lifestyle design” I told her. “James Marshall would approve.”

We met up again, and halfway through this 2nd daytime date (us going for a drink and a walk) I touched her arm. She flinched, and made it really clear she wasn’t comfortable with me touching her.

“What’s wrong?” I said with a playful smirk.

“You’re too forward…”

Instantly in my mind I wrote her off. I just thought “Clearly this woman is not right for me. This is the second time we’ve met and she’s weird about me even touching her arm?”

[December 2012 update: I just realized she let me touch her WAY more than this in the first 2 minutes when we met at the tram stop, leaning into me as I pretend to be drunk while touching her.]

I was a bit disappointed at how reluctant she was my to my touch. I didn’t give it much thought and wasn’t planning on chasing her or following it up. I figured we wanted different things and weren’t compatible: I wanted a sexy physical encounter and she seemed to want 5-10 non-physical dates.

So it was a pleasant surprise when I woke up on a Saturday morning to this text:

I got ready and set off on my mission. I was nervous but excited. The fact that she asked me to come over, to go in her spa, and bring alcohol meant I knew we were going to have sex.

I found a hilarious pair of bright short shorts, and put them on under my board shorts. Upon arrival, she buzzed me through the security gates, and I told her to close her eyes. I dropped my board shorts so I was just standing there wearing these:

(This pic was taken later, you can only see the top of them but imagine underpants/hot pants of that colour…that was all I was wearing)

She gave me a tour of the house, and I was blown away. Two story mansion, perfectly spotless: looked like it was straight out of a “Homes and Kitchens” magazine. She commented that it was a little too perfect.

We opened our drinks and went to the pool where I joked about how short my short shorts were and she giggled. We swam and I gradually ramped up the touching, first by jokingly teaching her how to swim (allowing our bare skin to touch under water) and then by picking her up and throwing her around, with lots of giggling, squealing and splashing.

She said “I just watched that Ashton Kutcher movie “Spread”…where he is a seducer. This reminds me of that…”

As I was writing this report I googled it…I’m glad this was what she was imagining…

I told her “This feels like a scene from a movie about rich, sexy kids, like in a show like the OC or something…”
It was such a sexy dynamic, because the sexuality was so evident but so unspoken. The scenario was extremely seductive: she invited me over to swim in her pool, we were both half naked, we were drinking, we had the whole house to ourselves…
It was like young love again. It was great to not feel pressured to escalate, and just being able to enjoy the sexual tension, safe in the knowledge that we’d be fucking later. I could just relax and go with the flow.

After swimming, she invited me up to the spa, which we filled with bubbles.

She told me “I love getting in a hot bath after a swim…then getting back in the cold pool…then getting back in the hot bath! The temperature contrast feels so good on my skin.” We slipped in and she started telling me about how she used to go skinny dipping when she was 16. Our legs were touching under water, and I had a raging boner. “I’m going to take off my shorts…the foam will keep me hidden” I said, and she giggled.

I pulled them up from under the foam and placed them on the side, grinning at her that I was now naked and my erect cock was brushing against her legs. She grinned back and leaned into me, rubbing her ass and back into my dick. I took off her top and we slowly slid our hands over each others skin, spreading the soap around. I love the slippery feeling of a woman’s warm soapy skin pressed up against me.

We went back downstairs and as I was laying back on the poolside chair, she approached me with a devilish gleam in her eye, grinning like mad. Seeing her walk over to me like that already had my blood pumping. Her brown, young looking body was hypnotizing, smooth skin and perfect legs and ass. She climbed on top of me and kissed me passionately. “I love giving blowjobs…” she whispered in my ear, tracing her hand down my neck, across my chest and into the bulge that was forming in my pants.

Without breaking eye contact, she moved her head down towards my stiff cock and caressed the tip with her tongue. She proceeded to give me one of the best blowjobs in my life, easily in the top 10. She knew exactly what she was doing, coating her hands with a lick of spit before touching the shaft so it was slippery and lubed up as she stroked it. She had amazing technique, it was warm and wet, and firm in the perfect way. The best part of it was how much she was enjoying it. She’d shoot me a glance that said “I love having a cock in my mouth, I can’t wait to make you come.” Green eyes pierce my soul, and the site of her green eyes looking up from her innocent face (which was being totally corrupted by the hard cock she was sucking) was such a hot contrast. She increased her stroking speed and tongue action and I felt myself about to explode.

She pulled her mouth off it and kept up her aggressive wrist action as jets of my cum shot everywhere. The best part was watching the initial cumshots and thinking “Wow that was huge…” and then BAM just when I thought it had ended, another huge load shot out. I was very impressed she was able to draw that out of my cock.

Later we fucked on the couch, then spent the rest of the day together, walking around naked, getting the pool, jumping on the trampoline, and acting like rich royalty in our mansion. It was really nice, and I told her “I think I have a crush on you. Will you be my girlfriend? Just for today and tomorrow.” And she grinned and agreed.

I took her to a crazy party that night, it was a really trashy place, the guys there actually want shit to get loose.

I was dressed for the occasion in the scummiest of outfits, you can see me holding the the short shorts I had on earlier, but I changed to my evening wear of fluro green station rat attire. The white runners (that looked freshly stolen) and the tuna I was eating straight from the tin really topped off what people from Melbourne, Aus will know as the ‘Frankston Scum’ look:

I looked around for a bin for my KFC bag, then realized the whole backyard was covered in rubbish, and said to the host “Hey man. Just gonna chuck this in the bin yeah?” and dropped it on the ground. He grinned, kicked it and stuff inside went flying everywhere. The kitchen lights were smashed out, there were holes in the roof and walls, and their lounge room was destroyed by the mosh pit that had erupted earlier during a metal bands set. There was a skate ramp in the garden, crowded with drunken skaters doing their best to see in the dark. The police came 3 times while we were there. It’s not a house I would want to live in, but it’s always good to go there and party. I have another crazy story about a previous party at their old place which I’m gonna write up and post up soon.

(The short version is, they came to my house party, got wasted, and abused my neighbours, so I went to their next party and trashed the place…but they loved it! They live that ghetto punk Anarchy lifestyle so any sign of danger is validating to them. Me spitting red wine all over their walls and pouring all their food on the floor was met with rowdy cheers and high fives.)

We left the party at 3am, went back to our mansion, fucked all night in the master bedroom, and lazed around swimming and fucking the next day.

It was a surreal experience, like a dream, because I literally woke up into that reality. On Saturday morning her text woke me up, clearly inviting me to her exotic mansion along for spa sex. I had already categorized her as a bit frigid from her response to my initial touch, so her sexual forwardness was like “Am I dreaming? Is this real? She’s really just inviting me over to bang her?”

From me walking up being propositioned by her, to arriving at the mansion, spending all day together, going to a crazy party that night, the next day blending into the last with more of the same rich sexy lifestyle… it was a dream like experience.

I asked her about the turn around, and she said she had looked me up online and read my blog (rapidescalation.com) and got so horny from reading the stories that she wanted to experience it herself and be part of that world. I sent her this LR before posting it and she was flattered and excited.

All because I chose to talk to her on the street. Afterwards she said “I love that! I wish more guys would come up and talk to me!”

She was excited about being post to this blog

This is a report I wrote in October 2008, I was 19.

I had heaps of fun doing it and it laid the groundwork for all my Rapid Escalation adventures that would follow. It made me more honest and authentic with the women I was interacting with: I wasn’t trying to fake anything, I was clear about what I wanted from the start and they respected that.

Physical escalation is an area of game that many guys overlook. They do countless approaches and have plenty of conversations but they just don’t touch, get physical, try to kiss girls, or face rejection.

This mission is highly recommended, as you are actually out there learning through experience, the fastest way to grow.

—–

So I started my mission to get 25 kiss rejections tonight… boy am I glad.

On the way to the Nightcat we started talking to some girls, asking directions, bantering for about 3 minutes, then as we were leaving I say “Hey you have to say goodbye like the French” and lean in to kiss her…”Errrrrrrrr no” she says awkwardly, giggles, and walks way.

Awesome. 1 done, 24 to go.

The rest were similar. Strong direct opener, good eye contact, grab them and try to makeout within the first 30 seconds. The thing I was most happy with was my post rejection reactions, or lack or them. I just smiled, told them they were cute and with a few just kept chatting to them.

One I opened with “Wow your beret makes you look shifty like a James Bond villain”, talked to her for about 4 minutes, really chilled out relaxed vibe and realized I was avoiding the kiss, she said “I wish people would surprise me more” so I said “What like this?” and grabbed her head and went for the makeout. “Err no that’s just really forward” but we kept talking for another 3 minutes, and just as I was leaving she brought up a topic that I love, the different way people identify with subcultures and the reasons why. So I got her Facebook address.

I heard that most people can’t make it to 25 rejections before someone kisses them back.

This happened to me after seven rejections. Girl came up to the bar, I can’t even remember what I said, I was just really chill and in a good state, lots of smiling and good body language, said some bullshit about her earrings being cool and decided they deserved a kiss and BAM its on, she’s kissing back hardcore, all within 20 seconds. Most of it was my body language, smile, and the fact that I took ACTION. It’s a great lesson for me because I usually talk too much. Such a paradox, you go out to try and get rejected and you get a makeout. We end up macking on at the bar for a while, get some good grinding and tit grabbing on, then she had to leave.

After that I did two more, the last one was the bartender at Nightcat had a red tea towel hanging out the right side, defiantly NOT the crip side (like the line in that Snoop Dog song ‘Drop It Like It’s Hot’). So I asked her if she was in a gang and where her “blue flag hangin’ out the left side” was, talked for about 10 seconds and said “Wow awesome you get a kiss on the lips” she laughs and pulls away a bit but I still manage to peck one on both cheeks. She jokingly says that she’ll have me booted out but I just keep talking to her for about 15 seconds (along time after you’ve just been rejected…think of awkward moments in movies….that’s the point I guess, I didn’t MAKE it weird) and we’re both smiling, she even comes up later and makes a joke about her blue tea towel and how she changed gangs.

Beyond the makeout the things I got from this were:

-Being indifferent/unaffected. When you are TRYING to get rejected, you stop thinking about “Ohh I should use a neg” or “What should I say next”. Instead, you’re outside your head, really dominant, just thinking “I’m a man and I want to lock lips with her ASAP” so you make it happen. This is the mindset I should be in ALL THE TIME.

-The fact that there ARE girls at clubs just WAITING for that dashing confident man to come sweep them off their feet. BE THAT GUY! I definitely would NOT have made out with that chick if I wasn’t on this suicide mission, I would have thought of openers to say, or analysed the situation a bit longer, or made up a reason like “Errr she’s not my type” or “She’s too old for me” (I think she was about 25 or older…..in my limited experience they seem the most eager.)

-Rate chicks by imagining fucking them. From afar the girl I kissed was ‘cute’ but not really ‘super hot’ but once your kissing them you start noticing they have awesome boobs, their lips feel nice, they have a juicy ass, their hands are warm etc. Then you think about your dick in their mouth and it’s like ‘Mmm yes that would be awesome’ most of the time your lying to yourself when you say you wouldn’t kiss a girl. You should think about fucking them and most of the time you would say yes…so stop lying to yourself, and start going for girls YOU think are hot and would hook up with, not what your friends might say. I never had a problem with this in highschool, because I KNEW that whenever I hooked up with someone all the guys bagging me for it would hook up with her in a SECOND…and most of them admitted that to me in private later. “That girl you banged…I know I gave you shit about it, but…I would so go there…”. Anyway the reason I re-realized this was coz my ‘standards’ got higher when I started picking up more after reading The Game, but it’s good to be honest with yourself about who you would and wouldn’t do. Before tonight I would have preferred to not pick up than drop my standard but now it’s more open and fluid than that, whatever happens, happens. Everything else is ego bullshit that will massively slow your progress.

-The downside was the first few I noticed that I was leaning in for the kiss but it was half assed and I was WAITING for a rejection. This shouldn’t really count, I’m not gonna do anymore like that. It’s gotta be set in my mind that we ARE about to kiss and she can just choose to not kiss back.

So that’s nine rejections all up. Going out tomorrow to get my other 16 or so rejections under my belt. This stuff does wonders for your outlook. I recommend everyone do it…what do you have to loose? (Maybe your front teeth to an angry boyfriend? Damn I wish I hadn’t thought of that.)

EDIT: More things I realized this morning…a bit of ramble but I’m trying to piece together everything I learned last night and typing it out is the best way.

-I ended up opening STRONGER than usual because I wasn’t outcome orientated. I wasn’t trying to IMPRESS them, or do a super DHV attack with a story about how cool I am, I just needed to be interacting with them for ten seconds so I could go for the kiss. The SOLE purpose of my openers were to TALK to a girl, get the interaction flowing enough to kiss, so I wasn’t using opinion openers, sometimes it’d just be ‘HEY’ or “Aww your not dancing?’ so this attitude actually turned out positive, the girls responded BETTER to this than they usually do to my openers. It showed me what I’ve been hearing for years…you can open with a smile and good eye contact.

-Aside from the opener, but in terms of the whole interaction, I think it took away the idea that I was trying to *get* something from the girls. I wasn’t worrying about how I came across because I genuinely didn’t care (since I knew the interaction would go well or be over quickly), but again paradoxically this helped. Even with the chicks who rejected me, not one went ‘ewwww’ and looked actually disgusted, most were still in a good vibe afterwards, and kept smiling, bantering and chatting with me. This part whole ‘not being needy/taking something’ is SO important for my development right now, because my actual mindset has been from a ‘take’ point of view recently, like ‘I need these girls to give me something’ and I’ve been over thinking everything. This mission has freed me up so much. The other night after my band played at The Espy I was kinda floating around with my wing and my mindset was ‘where are all the sets? Let’s open her…err we should open soon. Wait are we standing in the right spot? Do we look like douches now? Think, think, think, what’s a good opener? How about…Oh no that wouldn’t work. Now I’ve waited too long! TALKING TO GIRLS IS STRESSFUL!’. When you’re going for rejections you stop caring about logistics so much and you don’t let them get in the way of you having fun and ultimately your awesome state. So that’s the mindset I have to be in from now on.

-The funniest thing statistically is I used to tell my friend ‘Yeah man seduction is awesome, most guys are too scared to get rejected, but if I try with 10 girls even if I get rejected by 9 I still kissed one more girl than the guy who approached zero…” This was just a metaphor in the past but EXACTLY what happened last night, right to the number!

–
UPDATE

Ok I’m up to 11 now. I went to The Natural Lifestyle’s approach seminar and on the lunch break I did two more. First one: two girls who I asked for directions to the food court, and then they were going that direction too so we walked with them. I was gonna wuss out and not do it, but my wing came down on me hardcore with his list of logical reasons why I should JUST DO IT. Seriously if anyone needs a good kick in the ass, go out with this guy. Even before I joined the lair he’s kicked my ass into opening on multiple occasions. It was him that psyched me into doing the 2nd kiss attempt at the night cat, and JUST before I did it I was all like “Listen man I know your trying to help but DON’T tell me what to do, I just want to have my own journey and go at my own pace’ then he was like “NO JUST DO IT YOU FUCKING WUSS” and then after I did it I said “Yeah I lied I really DO like it when you kick my ass and force me to do scary stuff.” Having a wing who will bust your balls when you pussy out is awesome.

Anyway, back to the girls…

They stopped at a clothes shop, I asked them what they were buying and they said “A boyfriend present”. I asked her which one had the boyfriend…the one I liked was single! Woohoo, so I tell her that since she’s single we better make out. “Nooo!” she said, with a giggly squeal. I just walked off confidently but I’m thinking I should have stuck it out a bit longer. Then again, it’s normal for drunk dudes to do weird shit like that in clubs, but in a shopping centre…she might have called the cops.

I had been telling my friend about forgetting the 3second rule and how it’s never too late to approach…like if you walk past a chick there’s nothing wrong with running back to her if she’s 30 metres away. Why wouldn’t she want a hot guy like you to come talk to her? We were outside chilling on the break, I was talking to two guys from the class, and I see this cute as petite chick across the street…I trail off what I was saying to them and bolt across the street, around a tram and moving cars, and she’s like 100 meters away by now, so I have to run a whole block to catch up to her. We were just practicing loud voice projection and opening with tonality so I yell ‘HEY’ she doesn’t look back, probably thinks I’m talking to someone else. I catch up to her and say “Hey…I saw you from across the street and just wanted to tell you that your gorgeous” (big grin gleam in my eye) She’s a little weirded out but says “Errr thanks” and I say “I gotta give you a kiss” and lean in. She turns so it lands on her cheek. Then I bail. Kiss closing is a lot harder in the street after talking to someone for 7 seconds.

BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT===================

I realized a BIG mindset/reframing thing that you have to approach this mission with:

The mission should be called “25 kiss attempts within the first 30 seconds, WITHOUT using ANY other tactic, attraction technique, line etc”

This is how I was going with it anyway, thought I’d point that out for anyone else reading. Go in with the INTENT TO KISS THEM. The first few I found myself kind of accepting my own reality that she wouldn’t kiss back, but you have to lean in like you ARE going to kiss them and whatever they do is their choice, not your problem.

I have no trouble with kissing girls, for me this is not about killing kiss close fears. This is about :

-pushing myself to express my sexuality EARLY to avoid boring conversations.

-to get outside my head and just flow freely when I’m out

-not reacting to rejection in a negative way.

-not being needy when opening, and opening ANYONE who I think is hot, no excuses. Because I have a clear mission, to kiss them.

Here is a story written by a student, about how he had sex with a girl in the Carlton Club toilets during the Month of Mayhem course with me.

The basic gist of it was that he was playing it safe and denying women his sexual energy: he was being dishonest with them by being a ‘nice guy’ and having a friendly chat when he really wanted sex. I told him he needed to make that intent clearer from the beginning…and it paid off!

Here’s the story:

On my second night on of the Month Of Mayhem we went out to the Carlton Club and my mission that night was to be very sexual with girls. I had made a few openings to different girls one the bar and the feedback I was getting from my instructor Liam, was to be more sexual and to step up the sexual intent on my next approaches.

We got to a point were I had to approach a girl with a lot of sexual intent and I was very extremely hesitant to do it because I thought I was going in for an immediate rejection, but I pushed myself trough the exercise and I approached a smoking hot petite girl who was hovering around the bar near the dace floor.

As soon as I approached her I wrapped my arm around her waist and I then whispered in a very sexual tone something like “hello sexy lady”, she was very surprised by my approach, but she greeted me with a huge smile. I new it was on at that moment, since I was expecting a “I get off me, you creep!” reaction from her.

After a little introduction keeping and keeping the assignment goal I wanted to push the interaction forward with even more sexual intent, so after a few seconds of little chit chat I planted the a kiss on her cheek to which she replied “okaayy” but again she had a huge smile in her face… A few more seconds of chit chat and some close dancing and I went for the kiss to which she was totally receptive. I then suggested we should go latter on the night back to my place for some drinks, she said yes, but we now had to find a friend, for her friend how apparently got tired of our make out session and went out to the rooftop.

My girl and I went to the rooftop to check out on her friend, to my amazing surprise Liam was winging her friend by keeping her entertained and laughing a lot outside. We chilled with them for a few moments and I the found out my girl had an early flight next day at 6 am and she hadn’t packed her bags yet. I knew the plans to take her home later on were not going to happen and I would have to settle for a future date.

While I was accepting this in mind and just vibing with my girl and the group, Liam asked me if I had just received a text, so I checked my phone and I had a message from him that read. “Take her somewhere secluded and try to finger her. Then whisper that you want to go for a walk and take her to the bathroom.” Hahaha, I still laugh when I remember this… I was trying not to laugh as finished reading the text.

This idea would have never crossed my head, but I realized how epic and genius it was. And I got excited and ready to take this trough. I immediately told my girl we should go to the next floor and check out an elephant statue they were supposed to have, I learned this from another girl I had a previously chatted. So we went up into the other floor, we saw the elephant, but there was no secluded area to carry the mission, so I told her lets do a full tour of the place, we keep on moving acting like newbies or tourist on the place until we reached the second rooftop, this wasn’t a secluded area either, so a looked around the environment keeping it cool until I saw another set up stairs and I suggested we should check them out just in case there was another roof top, we went up those stairs and as I suspected they lead into the bathrooms, but guess what, they were secluded!

No time to loose, I instantly grabbed her and started sexy make out session in the bathroom hallway, I grabbed her ass over her mini skirt and then started fingering her from behind, since she was petite I had no issues with the reach, I then changed to a frontal fingering and she was beaming with passion. I then whispered in her ear, before someone would catch us, lets go into the bathroom. I lead her by he hand and we went into a stall and the rest, I think this part is pretty obvious.

Lessons learned:
1 Listen to your instructor and follow trough on the tasks.
2 Push the interaction forward and be sexual.
3 Always carry condoms

This guy was inspiring to coach. Highlight was meeting a girl on the tram and them getting off together at his house

New infield video. Went out to film a video on being more sexual and flirty and ended up busting a girl watching porn!

Also featured a track I wrote: “Fight To Be A Man” with added video clip. Let me know what you think

I got off the tram and saw her, walking on the tram tracks.

Pictured: not her. Random google tram stop girl.

I ran up and walked next to her.

“You’re a rebel.”

“Huh?”

“I said you’re a rebel. Walking on the tram tracks like a badass.”

She looked up and our eyes met, and she laughed. “Yeah I know. I go this way every day coz it’s faster.”

We turned to face each other. There was a pause, before we both said “Whats your name?” at the same time, then laughed. We had a simple conversation but the sexual tension was sizzling.

“I live just over there” she told me.

“Wow, we’re neighbours!” I said. She told me she recently moved from New Zealand.

“You’re short” I said, pulling her in to a hug as I measured our heights. “Almost as short as this signal box…”

“Yeah, sometimes if a tram comes I just jump down and hide behind this signal box so the driver wont see.”

I pushed her against the signal box and said “I have to do this” as I leaned in to kiss her. She closed her eyes and kissed me back.

We both smiled, and turned to face the traffic. “I wonder if anyone saw us…” I said. I told her about my bad eye sight and we turned to face the traffic going past, her trying to read the number plates with my glasses on. I stood behind her to put my glasses on, pressing myself into her.

After joking around a bit more, I invited her back to my place.

“I’d love to…but I have food on the stove”.

“Worst excuse ever…” I said.

“No I’m serious, my dads over and it’s a slow cooker…”

“Oh ok well…uhhhh…” I said, thinking out loud.

“Just take my number you idiot!” she says.

“I can’t. My phones dead.”

“No way, so is mine!” she said, as she pulled out her phone.

“Ok, come back to my place then so I can charge it” I said.

“No I’ll just tell you my address..”.

“Nah. Just come to mine and I’ll write my number on some paper.”

“Ok” she said. I took her by the hand and led her to my place. I knew she had to go meet her Dad so wasn’t looking for sex straight away.

We got inside, I wrote down her number, and led her back outside. She was short so I put her on a ledge and gave her a goodbye kiss which became intense very fast. Her tits were right in my face, so I pushed my face into her soft exposed cleavage. My lips trailed over to her nipples; she moaned as I licked them.

I ran my hand up her skirt, pulled her panties to the side, and slipped my finger inside her as she moaned again.

The cloth in this picture looks like a dildo.

I pulled her hand onto my boner, and she gasped.

We pulled ourselves apart, and she went home for dinner. “Call me later!” she said.

I had her number, but that night I didn’t call her. It might seem strange but lately I’ve been getting a lot of clarity about what type of women I want in my life. Call it intuition, call it a “vibe”, whatever, but I could sense that she wasn’t the right girl for me. On top of that, I had just had a fight with my girlfriend (open relationship) and our year long relationship was going through a rough patch.

I knew I could invite the tram stop girl over and fuck her that night. But I could see the path it would lead. I’ve fucked enough girls that I have a strong sense of which ones I’ll click with, and I could see that I’d fuck this girl, then she would be much more keen on me than I was on her. After a while, fucking a girl just because you can is not very enjoyable and they can feel it. You’re pumping mediocre apathetic sexual energy into their pussy.

After doing this a few times in 2011 I resolved to only fuck girls in really inspired by energetically, sexually, spiritually.

With that all in mind, I resisted the temptation (which was pretty intense seeing as she lived across the road and it would only take a text message to have her bent over on all fours taking a pounding from my cock.) My housemate couldn’t understand. “Dude just invite her over and fuck her!”

“No. It’s not worth it. Even if the sex is good, I’ll feel shit afterwards and so will she.”

I sent her a text telling her that she was cool, that I loved how she was free to live in the moment, but that I was having a bad time with my girlfriend and that we should just be friends. She wrote back saying that was cool.

This story is a good example of how easily you can create sexual connections with women when you’re direct, take risks and escalate once they’ve given you a strong sexual signal (her holding eye contact, leaning in when I hugged her, asking me lots of questions.)

It’s also a good lesson about being clear about what you want and being able to say no when you’re not keen. This is a very grey area; I’ve seen countless guys use this as an excuse to avoid pursuing a woman out of fear. “I”m just not that keen on her…” can be an easy way out for guys afraid of sexual escalation or scared of rejection.

But when it is a legitimate feeling, following it is empowering for you and kinder on the woman in the long run. Women want to be wanted; they don’t want to be fucked by someone who’s not that into it.