Rapid Escalation

This story shows how girls make no sense and will engage in weird conversation with strangers if they feel relaxed around you. The reason I get away with saying weird things is that I’m able to show her that I KNOW I’m being weird and I’m not oblivious to it.

I was walking home and I saw a cute girl, so I turned and walked after her.

“Hey!” I said to her.

“Oh! Hi…” she said, a little startled. Her pace quickened as she tried to walk away from me.

“That was a little weird wasn’t it…let me try that again” I said, stepped back and approached again and said hello.

She gave me a weird look and kept walking quickly.

“What are you up to?” I asked, plowing on.

“Oh I just finished work.”

I scanned her up and down and said “You don’t look like you work in an office…”

She asked me what I was doing and I said I was walking home but then saw her walk past and wanted to say hello. She smiled, said “Aww that’s cute. I’m Jane” and we continued chatting.

We crossed the street together and I asked her what she was doing now, she said she was going home. “Oh cool, can I come home with you?”

She gave me a sly look and said “My boyfriend wouldn’t like that…”

“You sure? He might be into a spitroast…”

“Haha no I don’t think he’d be into that…”

“You know what you should do? You should ask him when he’s asleep. And wait for him to nod in his sleep and then he pretty much said yes.”

“Haha yeah then I could record it…”

“Yeah! And then you have the evidence of him saying yes. So then you get him drunk and he’s passed out, and we fuck while you kiss him…so it’s technically a threesome because he’s involved, but really it’s just a way for us to bang without you cheating.”

“Oh. My. God. I admire your confidence but like…don’t ever say that to anyone, ever again…” she said, trailing off uncomfortably.

“Eh. What do I have to lose. You already said you have a boyfriend.”

Her face lit up and she smiled. “True! Good point! Wow when you put it like that…”

“I like to have fun. It’s worth risking weirding you out.”

“By the way, my names actually Sarah. I gave you a fake name before…you seemed really weird when you approached first…”

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” I absolutely CRACKED up laughing in her face. “I love women! They make no sense, yet they make total sense!” I started yelling to the street “Women are crazy! Women are crazy!”

She gave me a quizzical look and I explained: “You’re not sure about me when I approach honestly, shy and nervous…but then when I suggest that I fuck you from behind in a dark rooom while your boyfriend is passed out, suddenly THAT is the thing that makes you want to tell me your real name and get to know me.”

“Yeah…well…uhhh…” she got a little flustered, then we continued chatting.

Eventually I asked “Anyway, do you have single friends I can bang?”

“Um…yeah! Like two or three.”

“Sweet. We should stay in touch so you can hook me up and live through me.”

“Uhh…look, once again… I admire your confidence but that’s taking it too far!”

“Nah. It’s true.” I replied, and she smiled.

We chatted a bit more, she took my facebook, and I said “We should have a goodbye hug…”

And she said “ I really want to, but…”

“SHE WANTS TO HUG ME!” I yelled to everyone on the street.

We hugged and when I got home she had added me on Facebook. Next step: get her boyfriend drunk…

Love this picture, it’s funny and also highlights the fact that so many men are clueless to how many available girls there are out there if you chose to go and meet them. I hear guys saying “It’s so hard to meet girls in this city? I’ve tried online dating, I’ve tried bars…”

Bars? You mean going for a ‘lads night’ where you get drunk, mumble something at one or two girls, then ‘have a good time with your mates’ (which translates to staring at girls and not approaching them).

What about the beach, the supermarket, public transport, the street, the library…

You’re already good at seduction! You just don’t know it yet. The process of learning seduction is really about realizing that you already have what it takes to meet and seduce women within you. And for many guys, they already have the experiences that prove this!

It’s so funny because you can use the reference experiences the universe hands you to believe anything. The amount of times I’ve been shut down this year, or had flakes from seemingly really solid numbers, I could easily create a belief system of ‘I’m shit with women, I’m weird, girls hate me, they don’t want to date me’.

I’ve been this guy many times:

The reference experiences to ‘prove’ that I’m terrible with women are all sitting there in my mind, just waiting for me to use them against myself. But instead I just focus on the ones that confirm all my positive beliefs and identity perceptions. This is an active choice I make.

I see this so much with guys I’m coaching: they have a huge bank of reference experiences that they COULD use to create/reinforce positive beliefs and mindsets that would do wonders for their self esteem/worldview/mindset in the long run, but they just choose to focus on all the negative experiences that ‘prove’ they are no good with women.

I’m talking about guys who have had 10-second makeouts, who have approached really hard sets and left with a number, or get lots of feedback that they are good looking/attractive/girls find them hot, or even have some crazy seductions under their belts, and they still don’t internalize any of it. How much more proof do they need that they are attractive, skilled seducers? With that attitude, gaining more positive reference experiences will have a minimal effect on their confidence. They need to recognize what they’ve already achieved and focus on that.

Event his guy might not realize he’s doing something right:

So much of my coaching now is just getting guys in touch with all the awesome power they already have. It’s like ‘FUCK dude if you could just see how awesome you are, all the problems you THINK you have would go away!’ The process of learning game/self improvement is less about creating something new inside yourself, and more about REMOVING all the mental blocks that stop you from seeing your potential that you already have.

It’s like that Swingers quote “You’re so money and you don’t even know it”. Most of the guys I coach undersell themselves massively. So I’m partly teaching them the nuts and bolts of seduction, but also coaching them on how to see their own potential and use it to their advantage.

How you can you do this?

For starters, write out a list of every time a woman has ever shown you interest. If you dig deep you can find some examples, even if it was as fleeting as her smiling at your or having a flirty conversation.

This experience can be used as powerful evidence for your subconscious that you are an attractive man that women are interested in. You realizing how money you already are.

 

Next, write out a list of every time you have ever manned up, put yourself on the line and made a bold move towards taking things further with a girl. This could be approaching, asking for a number, going for a kiss, asking a girl out, touching a woman seductively, trying to take her home etc.

Again these are the positive reference experiences that you should focus on: the ones where you were a man, where you took a risk, where you were boldly and honestly displaying your intent and following your attraction through with purpose.

It’s so easy to amass huge banks of these experiences and never actually relate to them or build your confidence based on them. When you remember the kind of man you are when you’re at your best, it allows you to step into that reality more often.

If you don’t have many of types of confidence building experiences to draw on, you can still be excited by the thought of going out there and creating them! If you’re a beginner, the cool part is that it’s not even about whether you get the girl or not, the point is just about you proving to yourself that you are the kind of guy who can have a shot, take a risk/make a move and go for what he wants. This is a powerful identity to take on and has a massive effect on your future seductions.

Focus on the things you can control: how many approaches you make, how much intent you’re showing, how many numbers you ask for, how many girls you try to kiss etc. This is still a hugely exhilarating developmental stage in becoming a man: facing your fears without attachment to the outcome.

The paradoxical thing about this article is it is aimed at guys who think they’re beginners, but are actually intermediate or advanced seducers. It’s about getting them to wake up to the proof that they’ve already lived and realize how sexy they already are.

So for guys who already have some positive seduction experiences to draw on, write out that list and remind yourself of that often. For guys who don’t, get out there and create some of those reference experiences for yourself!

This is a funny story that happened a few months ago. The other day a student was like “You always write about your successes but never your failures!” so I figure it’s worth sharing these rock bottom moments so people know I’m human too.

Vaguely related picture of failure

I was at Carlton Club after work, at around 3am. I was in the smoking area with my friend and we got chatting to two girls. The tall brunette I was talking to was a bit tipsy, and she was loading her words with seductive tones and giving me sex eyes every time she looked at me.

We were sitting near each other and as we shared a cigarette we were pressed close together. I was caressing her cheeks, neck and hair. “You shouldn’t be doing that…but it feels really good…” she said with her eyes closed.

It was the end of the night and I was tired so I just said “I’m going home soon. Want to come with me?”

She shot me a lingering glance, paused, turned the idea over in her mind and said “I shouldn’t…”

“Ok. Lets just go hook up in the bathroom then” I said, deadpan.

She hesitated again, and then said “Okay.” I took her by the hands and led her to the bathroom.

Being so late the bathrooms were empty, and we went straight to a stall to hook up. We kissed, I started kissing her neck and touching her tits, and she grabbed at my dick. I pulled it out and she started stroking it.

After 20 seconds she tensed up. “I shouldn’t be here…I’m 28…I’m looking for something more than random bar hookups…”

I paused, then realized she was serious. “Okay…nice to met you anyway”. She pulled her top back up, we hugged, and she left.

On the walk back to the car I started to notice something funny…not laughing funny. It was a strange tingling sensation in my pants. Oh no, I thought. I have blue balls.

I got in my car and started driving, running yellow lights in a desperate bid to get home and release. By the time I was at Richmond I was finding it hard to steer the car. I pulled over, doubled over in pain, resigned to my fate. There was only one path of action for me to take, and it was a seedy one. I pulled my iPhone out and descended to the inevitable filthiness that awaited me. I loaded up some hot doggystyle porn, pulled my throbbing erection out, and started to vigorously jack it. Half way through, I realized I had to jizz somewhere. I frantically looked around my car, and saw I had two options: jizz all over myself, or do it in the Hungry Jacks burger wrapper that was sitting on my floor.

I picked it up, and tried to position it so it would catch my load. I hadn’t had blue balls in years, so I massively underestimated how much cum there would be.

I collected the first spurt in the Hungry Jacks wrapper, where it blended in with the mayonnaise. The rest over shot the wrapper and hit the dash. In my attempt to catch it in the wrapper, I jerked around wildly, which only served to send the cum that was still exploding out of my dick on the steering wheel, seat, and door. On top of that, the cum that I had caught in the wrapper ran off the side and dripped all over my pants.

I looked around at the mess I had made and thought “Wow…some pickup artist you are Liam. Jacking off and cumming all over your car to iPhone porn…alone. At 5am…on a main road in the Richmond business district.” I hung my head (and dong) in shame and drove home. I was still finding splurges of cum in my car for the next few days.

I had just finished my grocery shopping and was pushing my trolley to my car when I saw a tall brunette walking towards me. Strange, I thought, as I had seen her in the carpark earlier.

“Hi!” she said. Then I saw her clipboard and realized what was up. She was some kind of sales girl. A car saleswoman, it seemed

“Do you drive?” she asked.

“Yeah…”

“When was the last time you had your car serviced?”

“3 days ago…” I replied, seeing the potential to have fun with it.

I like hearing people’s sales pitches, because it’s fun for me to fuck with them since I know I’m not going to sign up, and it’s good training for them to learn objection handling. So I decided to play along.

“What did they do during your last service?”

“They installed a back scratcher. It’s voice automated. It scratches my back for free.”

“Wow cool! And how much did you pay for that?”

“Nothing…”

“Nothing?”

“Well… I just took a gun into the mechanic, held it to his head and told him that he better fix my car or there’d be trouble” I explained casually.

“Awesome!” she replied grinning, without missing a beat. “We do something very similar.”

“You use a gun?” I asked, incredulous.

Girls with guns are kinda hot…

“Yeah! Uh… I mean…um…”

“What kind of gun?”

“Uhh a…um…” She paused, tried to think of a witty comeback, and couldn’t think of anything so just sidestepped that one entirely.

“Anyway… this is what we’re doing…” and she went on to explain the deal they were giving.

She went through the benefits and concluded with “So it’s a free service worth $980!”

“Cool. So whys it say $189 right there…”

“Oh well the service is free but you still have to pay for the parts…but you’re saving money!”

“Ok. I don’t have any money anyway… I spent it all on heroin.”

“Cool! Can I have some?”

“Sure. Get in my car and come to my place right now, we’ll go shoot up.”

“Ok!” she says, and starts walking to the passenger door. She stops just before getting in and says “Just kidding!”

She walks off, and I call out “Hey if you actually want a lift somewhere I can give you one…” I wasn’t that attracted to her but I appreciated that she joked along.

Her manager appeared in a suit from behind a pillar and gave me a ‘get away from my salesgirl you creep’ stare.

“I’m not leaving till I make this last sale!” she said, and I yelled back “That’s the winners attitude that will make you a success!” and drove off into the sunset (moonlight).

With her attitude and drive, she’s bound for piles and piles of money:

This little exchange is just one example of the regular stimulating, creative and playful conversations I have with the people I meet as I go about my day.

It’s a sharp contrast with guys who want to learn how to seduce women and be respected by the people they meet (i.e. how to be charming) but who don’t actually spend much time practicing or doing it.

When I first found out about the seduction community I bought into the myth that you can just whip out your seduction skills on Friday and Saturday night and not have to worry about it for the rest of the week, like it was some kind of ‘skillset’ that you deploy. This approach to seduction is fake, requires you to put on a false social mask and has a negative impact on your results: people can sense when you’re putting on a front.

The reality is that seduction is something you ARE, not something you do. Likewise, having an easygoing, charming personality and being relaxed to have stimulating interactions with strangers becomes so much easier when you chose to make it part of your everyday life. When you’re living it, it flows as a natural expression of your personality.

I wasn’t always that relaxed talking to strangers. I started small, making a goal to talk to one new person (guy or girl) on the train every day on the way to uni. This allowed me to be comfortable interacting with strangers and opened up the path to me being a whole lot more relaxed as I go about my day.
Make it your mission to share a joke with one new person every time you leave the house, or to make a stranger smile. It will sow the seeds that will allow you to relax when meeting strangers, and make every day of your life about having fun instead of feeling awkward in social situations.

The flow on effect of this to seduction is obvious: if you’re constantly training yourself to be a charming, relaxed person and have fun as you go about your day, approaching women and getting to know them is going to become much, much easier.

This post is not about being a wanker, it’s about being okay with random people on the street thinking you are one.

I was at Central Station in Sydney. I had just finished an all day coaching session and had 20 minutes to wait for my train. I realized that while being in Sydney for the workshop, I hadn’t worked out in a few days. “Why don’t I just do some pushups right here?” I thought.

It was pretty busy:

“Hmmm…nah…that will look weird” says the safe, sensible part of my brain; the part that’s supposed to stop me from acting on every impulse. “You’re just some guy dressed like a metal head with no shoes on doing pushups at the train station. And you’re wearing glasses. That will look mega unusual.”

Then of course the Social Freedom voice says “Come on…what’s the big deal? I thought you were a Social Freedom coach? You make your students push their comfort zone all the time and you can’t even do some pushups right now?”

“Nah I just don’t feel like it…not here. I’ll just wait till I’m home…”

“But you’re going straight to a party when you get home. You have 20 minutes right now. Why do you even care? You don’t know any of these people here. You don’t even live in this city!”

“Yeah but…it will be uncomfortable…”

“So what? In 6 months, will you care that you endured a few minutes of discomfort? Or will you be happy you stuck to your exercise goals?”

I continue to argue with myself (this whole though process lasts less than 15 seconds) and then I decide to go take a piss and do it when I get back.

I come back from the toilet, shaking and slightly nervous, empty my pockets in front of me, get on the floor and start doing pushups.

As soon as I begin, I hear “YOU FUCKIN’ WANKER!” booming across the platform in a loud English accent. I look over and see two blonde British girls yelling at me. “Show off! Tough guy! Go on, do some more pushups!” they yell.

They looked like British party girls, kinda like this:

I slowly stand up, take a breath and say “Looks like I have a cheer squad. You have to count them out for me.”

“Fine!”

“Let me hear you count.”

“Just start doing the fucking pushups!”

“I wanna hear you count first!” I say firmly. She complies, and as they count one, I drop and begin to hammer out 20 pushups.

“Now do berrhpiessz!”

“What?”

“Do BURPIES!”

“What the fuck’s that?”

“Ya don’t know what a fuckin’ burpie is?”

“No” I say, giving her a cold stare. “Show me.” I challenge her.

She hesitates. “Come on!” I yell, and she drops and shows me a pushup mixed with a star jump.

I do my 20, and then 20 more pushups. They continue to yell at me with a mixture of encouragement and insults.

“More! Harder! FASTER! YOU SUCK!” Their tone was still very confrontational and aggressive.

Their train arrives and I’m left on my platform with everyone who witnessed this exchange. What to do now? I feel like I should stop, because I don’t have my cheer squad anymore. Fuck that. My priority is my workout. I start doing sit-ups.

It gets weirder when I’m resting between sets and some mid 30s guy comes and waits for his train near me. Starting that set again was hard, because I was aware that since he didn’t witness the initial exchange, from his point of view there is a dude sitting on the platform in front of him who randomly decides to start doing pushups at his feet.

It got even weirder when I opened my eyes during a sit up set and made eye contact with some shy Asian student who was standing in my line of site, a meter away. It seemed very sexual and creepy because I was on the ground and panting. Oh well, her fault for standing near the weird guy at the station.

Hard to concentrate on sit-ups when you’re making eye contact…

The times between the sets were the hardest because I was acutely aware that everyone on all of the closest platforms was watching me. I had to just crouch there panting and pretend like I didn’t notice.

I got on the train feeling much better, so glad that I had worked out my chest and arms and even gladder that I hadn’t let the people at the station stop me from working out. If I didn’t work out it would have felt like they were all controlling me, preventing me from working out.

The reality is that it’s not them stopping me from doing it, it’s MY fear of what they think of me that is really stopping me.

As I walked through the train, a gang of rough looking kids were standing on the stairs

You know the type:

They quickly moved out of the way as I walked towards them. Maybe they were genuinely polite people and I’m judging by appearances, but it seemed that they saw the manic craziness in my eyes, induced by the physical exertion and comfort zone plunge I had just taken and didn’t want any trouble.

I decided to take it to the next level and do pull-ups on the train bars. I came up to a carriage where some cyclists had their bikes across the doors. They got up to move them and I said “Don’t worry…I’ll just climb over. Hold this.” I handed them my drink bottle and gripped the bars running along the roof, pulling myself over the bikes.

“Wow. That was fun. I think I’m gonna do some more pull-ups right here” I informed the cyclists. I could instantly see that they thought I was drunk or on drugs.

“You been at a music festival today?” they asked me, sniggering to each other.

“Nah. Just been at work” I panted while doing pull ups. I kept chatting to them and we were joking about how the balance handles look like sex toys. The breaks between my sets were mega awkward, with friendly enough conversation clouded by the fact that they thought I was crazy.

They kept muttering to each other and giggling, as if I couldn’t hear them, unaware that I was fully sober. I didn’t mind. As long as I got to do my workout I was happy.

I felt great getting off the train. Doing pushups in public may not be that far outside social reality, I’m sure plenty of groups of boys do pushups in public when they’re mucking around. The difference mentally for me was that I was by myself. If I have a friend there the context is ‘guys being guys and showing off/causing a scene’, which puts me in the badboy/rebel mode and is fun. But me being by myself just makes me looked like a whacked out druggie or socially retarded psycho, or someone stupid enough to think public pushups are impressive to others. The question I ask myself is “AM I a whacked out druggie? No. AM I socially retarded pyscho? No. AM I doing this to impress strangers? No. So even if some random people in a different city think that, it doesn’t make it true. I know myself better than their perception of me.”

The Office Fire

This story doesn’t feature any sex but it is a great example of how your life becomes more interesting and exciting once you start following your social impulses.

I was walking to my car at 3am, and saw a woman looking lost. I walked past and didn’t talk to her due to a bunch of excuses. “I don’t wanna creep her out” “There’s no point talking to women at 3am” “It’s not going to go anywhere”.

Then I think “What if she’s lost?” “What if she’s a tourist just waiting to meet a guy?” “What if she wants to come home with me? I could be walking past some easy sex.”

“Are you a tourist?” I ask her warmly, and she smiles and says no, and told me her name was Amy. We start chatting and she says “I’m out here because there’s a fire!”

“What do you mean?”

“Well it’s my office party upstairs, but there is smoke all through the second floor. There is a fire!”

She seemed way too relaxed. I was taken aback by her relative calmness- if there really was a fire, why was she the only one downstairs? Where was the fire brigade? Why couldn’t I see any smoke or fire alarms?

After getting off the phone from someone who was at the party, she told me to come upstairs and have a look. As we walked down the hall I started to get uneasy- where was she taking me? I didn’t like the fact that the building didn’t look like an office at all. I didn’t like the long hallway and harsh lighting. And I certainly didn’t like the way that she skipped along ahead of me by a few steps, stringing me a long in a sing song girly voice, taking me towards the fire but not seeming afraid of said fire… was I about to me mugged by her heavy handed male accomplices?

Party of me was hoping it was this:

I kept my guard up and cautiously followed her up the stairs, where she showed me what all the fuss was about: there did seem to be a sizeable amount of smoke billowing out from 2nd floor. I asked her if we should go have a look, but she said to come upstairs where everyone else was so we could find out what was going on.

We emerged out onto the roof, to the scene of a party that was still raging despite the obvious fire danger. There was about 15 people on the roof all in high spirits, couples were making out left and right of me, and our entrance garnered a volley of cat calls “Who’s the guy you picked up?” from her co-workers.

Like this, but with more booze and people making out:

It turned out they were a social media web development company operating out of the first floor, and as the French designer told me, “the second and turd floorz ‘ave been abaddoned.” (The 2nd and 3rd floors have been abandoned.)

The smoke was also explained: since the building was due to be demolished soon, they had got a bity rowdy downstairs and someone had sprayed the fire extinguisher all through the 2nd floor.

Like this, except with a thick layer of white foam instead of paper:

Amy was the boss, and clearly the party pooper. She went on and on about the fire for about 10 minutes in a cycle that went something like this:

“Guys I think there’s a fire!”

“No Amy. We already explained that. It’s just fire extinguisher discharge.”

“But why is there smoke?”

“It’s not smoke it’s…”

“And the sign said we shouldn’t be on the roof, there’s asbestos out here! I can feel it in my mouth!”

“No that’s just the fire extinguisher mist you’re breathing in.”

“Okay…so are you sure there’s no fire?”

“No Amy. We already explained that. It’s just fire extinguisher discharge.”

Repeat cycle.

They literally had almost that exact conversation, 9 or 10 times in a row. The first four times it was funny but then I got bored and started chatting to the other party goers.

“You poor thing, being dragged off the street into Amy’s mess…very chivalrous of you though!” one of them said.

“Uh are you serious? This is awesome! One minute I’m walking to my car, the next I’m partying on a rooftop with a bunch of friendly strangers after helping Amy solve the fire mystery. Sure beats driving home.”

After chatting with the team and getting to know them, someone offered me a beer, which I was told to help myself to from downstairs. The French guy and some goth chick came with me, and showed me the carnage that had already been wreaked on the 2nd floor. There was still fire extinguisher smoke clouding the air and the floor was covered in a fine layer of foam. There was empty beer bottles everywhere, and fresh beers were waiting in a series of sinks. “Eet used to be a ‘air salon…so we ‘ave converted dis sinks into a beer ‘older!” (They were using the old hair salon sinks as beer holders.)

The energy of the party and the realization that this room would be demolished soon was beginning to dawn on me. “So wait… I don’t even need a bottle opener do I. I can just use this window sill to crack my beer!” I told Bastise. He nodded and I cracked my beer open, tearing the window sill to shreds and accidently smashing the mouthpiece in the process.

“Can’t drink out of this broken bottle…looks like it’s time for a beer shower!” I yelled, and shook the beer up and started shaking the froth everywhere. My reckless mood was infectious and the other partygoers who had trickled downstairs in search of booze and drama were inspired. They were milling around, and I could sense they wanted some action.

“Hey…we can just smash all these bottles right here, can’t we!”

“Yeah! It doesn’t matter!” they said.

CRASH! I flung my bottle at the wall and it exploded, and helped myself to another fresh beer.

A few other people joined in and spirits were high as we danced around, our yelling and whooping adding to the symphony of broken glass cascading around us.

One couple to the left of me started making out. “Who was that guy I just kissed?” she asked afterwards, in a party induced haze. I liked the energy of this party.

One of the more bossy women from the office entered the room and said “Hey! What’s going on! Liam, you are a menace! I think you need to go upstairs right now, where you can party a bit more safely.”

“Yeah…well I think YOU need to join in the fun and smash some bottles!” I yelled.

“Uh…okay!” she replied, and I handed her one.

“I’ve always wanted to do this!” she giggled, and sent her bottle sailing across the room, bouncing off the table before exploding against the wall.

“WOOO! AWESOME! YOU RULE!” I yelled. “Let’s all do it!”

I lined up 10 bottles on the table and said “Shooting gallery everyone! Grab your weapons and FIRE!” The room went berserk as everyone who was milling around picked up a bottle and flung it at the wall at the same time. The adrenaline of being able to be so destructive without consequences was going to  my head, and a pulled open a broom cupboard…and discovered about 50 fluorescent light bulbs!

“Light saber fights!” I yelled, tossing one to Batiste, and we had a sword duel before us both sending them flying into the wall like spears.

The fun could only last so long, and the concerned tone of Amy the manager cut through the excitement in the air like a knife. “Who is breaking glass down here?!” Everyone fell silent as she ruined the fun by scolding me and telling me to leave.

“Hey, I wasn’t trying to cause trouble. I thought this whole place is getting demolished soon anyway? Can’t I stay?”

“No, you have to leave.”

“Ok. I had my fun. Thanks for the beer. Bye, guys, I’m getting kicked out! I love you all!” I yelled after my co-conspirators in the destruction party club.

“Bye Liam!” they called out after me, sad to see me go.

I walked back to my car thinking “What a crazy way to end the night. Free booze, inspiring a whole office to trash their own second floor…imagine if I hadn’t talked to her and missed out on all that fun!?”

Hey guys. Hope you all liked the Melbourne Cup Infield Pickup Video I recently released with James Marshall.

Here is a full video from start to finish of me chatting up a charming lady with a dark sense of humor.

You’ll notice my voice and body language is very relaxed, and I avoid standard topics like where she works, lives, went to school, or studies.

Instead I take the conversation in a much more risky but much more playful direction, getting us straight into some dark humor. As I say in the video, “I put the [genocide] thing out there to see what she’d say.”

I liked the fact that she can tell I’m joking, and is willing to play along and be spontaneous.

I’m also not afraid to touch her: I lift her up confidently, which allows us to create a good physical connection. You’ll notice I ask ‘can I pick you up’ at 2.58, and gauge her reaction before actually doing it. She asks ‘really?’ she doesn’t say no, and I can feel from the way she leans into my arms that she is comfortable being picked up. I’m not just blindly picking her up, I’m easing into it and feeling out her reaction to make sure she’s comfortable while still confidently leading.

The other thing I like about this pickup is how I’m not trying to win her over, and how we’re both seducing each other. By allowing her to play along and be part of the seduction, it builds our interpersonal connection from the start. Some seducers like to play games and pretend to be something they’re not. You see in this video that being honest, direct and playful is much more effective and allows her to meet the real me.

The flow on effect from this is that she feels comfortable showing her real self to me. She can feel that I don’t have a wall up and it means she doesn’t have to put a wall up either.

I used to have a massive wall up around women, a social mask that stopped us connecting. It was a front, my way to protect myself. The women who met me then could feel it. There was no way they were going to open up to me when I was closed off myself. Dropping that front has made the whole seduction process so much easier and makes me feel so much more relaxed.

I loved the cute ending; her writing me a note on a scrap of paper really rounded off the interaction for me (as well as giving me a great pocket square.)

Last week I was in Sydney coaching a student, and he approached a sexy blonde girl at Bondi strip and playfully asked her to marry him.

(Google+”blonde bondi”)=

“Uhh, I can’t get married!” she muttered, and scurried off into a nearby shop.

He came back a bit dejected, told me what happened and said “Was that a shit test?”

(A ‘shit test’ is the idea that women will say things to test you to see how you respond, such as “I’m a lesbian” or “Will you buy me a drink?” )

I said to him “Are you fucking crazy? You seriously think that in the few seconds of that interaction, she had time to think-

‘Hmm, ok I’m not sure on this guy, I need to create a test for him to pass…I’ll tell him that I can’t get married and see how he responds to that!’

-No way! She was just nervous and didn’t know what was going on so she took the path of least resistance. Go approach her again and let her know you were just kidding, let her know you’re not crazy and get her number.”

He walked up to her, apologized for giving her a shock and explained he just wanted to talk to her. She relaxed and smiled, and they chatted for a few minutes before she gave him her number. What a turn around!

I was being harsh on him to get the message across and show him how blindly he was following a seduction rule, but I totally understood his mindset. I had been there myself for a long time. When I first heard about the idea of a shit-test, it blew my mind, and I started assuming that everything that a woman said from then on was a test. A concept that was supposed to show you that sometimes women will throw a conscious test your way to see how you respond morphed into a paranoia that everything that came out of a woman’s mouth was a test.

Part of the problem with this mindset is assuming that women are constantly cool, calm, collected and calculating about everything they do in social and seductive interactions. It creates a reality where they have no emotions, insecurities, or social tensions, and doesn’t account for these things affecting their behavior. Overanalyzing her actions and seeing them through this funnel blinds you to the reality that she is just another human like anyone! Taking this into account makes you realize that what you see as her ‘testing’ you might just be her being nervous. In specific situation of a bar it might be more prevalent, but generalizing it to all female behavior is a flawed mindset that makes them seem like robots.

Think of it from her point of view. She’s walking down the street, and suddenly an attractive guy surprises her out of nowhere with a confronting proposal. She was minding her own business thinking about what shop she’s going to, and suddenly she’s thrust into a flirtatious encounter that she wasn’t prepared for. She is a bit shocked, nervous, and unsure what how to respond, so she does the easiest thing: she ends the interaction to escape the awkward tension.

It doesn’t mean she wasn’t attracted to you. She’s probably kicking herself as she walks off, thinking “Damn! It’s hard enough being single, I’m sick of sleazy bars and online dating, and then as soon as a hot guy approaches me, I get nervous and brush him off. I’ll be single forever!”

I’ve had a friend do this: she was sitting at a café with her friends when a cute guy approached her and asked for her number. She got nervous and blurted out “I have a boyfriend!” After he left, her friends all looked at her quizzically. “Um, Bianca…you don’t have a boyfriend.”
“I know! Why did I say that?! Damn, I just got nervous and didn’t know what to say! He was really sweet and cute and now I’ll never see him again…”

Her friend got up and ran after him, catching up with him 2 blocks away and said “Sorry about my friend she was just overwhelmed. Here is her number, call her!”

So the message is that while there may be certain scenarios when a girl will be consciously testing you, most of the time it’s not true. Assuming that women are constantly testing you puts the wrong spin on every interaction and gives you a warped perspective on their headspace. It makes you stuck in your head trying to ‘beat’ tests that only exist in your mind, instead of being in the moment and feeling her energy as the interaction flows. Most of the time, what you think of as a test is just her being nervous. She’s probably scared that you’re testing her! Focus more on getting her to relax and be comfortable around you.

Otherwise they feel like they have to study for a test too….

I’m not saying girls wont test you in certain situations… I’m saying that I’ve seen too many guys applying a rule that’s created about a specific situation to every single interaction they have with a woman.

It creates a paranoid headspace where you’re trying to beat tests that aren’t even there. A better mindset is ‘she is nervous that she’s talking to a hot guy, she can feel the sexual tension and she is trying to impress me.’

This is a report ‘lazyboyy’ wrote on http://www.melbournelair.com/forum/index.php?topic=1199.0

It was after doing my Day of Mayhem workshop, which is just a daygame version of Night of Mayhem.

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This all happened as part of Liam’s social freedom coaching, which was thoroughly amazing.

Liam was getting us to just walk up to girls with messages typed on our phones. Mine said “hey your cute, wanna be my girlfriend”. So this brunette with gorgeous blue eyes walks past and Liam directs me to approach her, I show her the message with my phone outstretched she looks at it and seems startled.  Ordinarily I probably would’ve left it at that but due to the positive energy that was flowing through the session I struck up a conversation, starting with something direct (can’t remember exactly what I said).

Something along the lines of I thought she was gorgeous and wanted to meet her so I quickly typed that message. She called me out and was rather skeptical – which led me to believe she was interested I just had to justify that she was special – and could see Liam and the other 2 guys and cottoned on to the whole caper. I told her it was about social freedom and that I do a bit of acting and it’s a good exercise for that.

After finding out she was from Lithuania the convo turned to travel and I bantered with her about Europe and South America where I’ve been, where I’m going ecetera, with a cocky funny vibe, and I suppose some sexual intent too.

At one point she said “you just want to sleep with me” to which I replied “Yes I will sleep with you, then we will get married have 2 kids, but 2 years later we will get divorced.  You can keep the kids, I’ll get the mansion in Toorak and you can keep the BMW. But then when we’re 50 we’ll meet up and our love will rekindle, we will remarry and live happily ever after…like Romeo and Juliet” All while gazing into her eyes lovingly. She replied that she has a roommate called Juliet. Anyway.. Got her number buy taking her phone and calling myself then elicited a juicy big extended hug.
After my session with Liam finished I texted her and it went as follows (sorry if the formatting is messy but you get the idea):

Me:Hey what are you doing? Lazyboy
Her: I went back home to change, cause I have work 5.30 for few hours. You? Still looking for girls  :p
Me:I only look for girls between 2-4pm so lucky u were walking then . Aww that sux how long do u have to work for.

 

Her: you think im lucky? Haha. Mm for few hours only. Hopefully finish before 9 :p why
Me: You’re lucky coz you have an amazing guy to hang out with after work and u may even get a nice massage to make u feel relaxed and wonderful.

 

Her: mm, sounds promising

 

Me: How about I come to your place with a bottle of wine at 9.30. Do you prefer red or white?

 

Her: You cant I live in hostel … but I do like white

 

Me: White is my favourite too. Ok how about I pick you up at 9.30 I don’t live that far from the city and we can enjoy our white wine and ill look after that tension in your back.
Her: Is that a competition between u and ur friends who’s gonna sleep with more girls? Mm even though I liked your eyes so what should I do?! Lol
Me: How did u guess?? If I win I get $1 million dollars and u get multiple orgasms. Great now I can’t stop thinking about our naked bodies together..even tho I have is that amazing hug we shared

 

 

Her: Oh really? I’m going to work now…blah blah
Me :Ok have fun at work, whatever you do don’t think about me kissing your neck.

Her: What If I do think about you kissing my neck? Lol oh well see u later.

 

Ect. Ect.

So anyway I pick up a bottle of Pinot Grigio, pick her up at 10. Take her to Brighton beach to show her a nice view of the city. Take her to mine. We drink wine and show each other music we like on Youtube. Finish the bottle. Chat about how cool it was that we met, and how we could’ve easily missed each other…feels like we’ve known each other for ages ect. Then we spend the next few hours engaging in intercourse. Go out for breakfast, drop her off back in the city. And seeing her again on Wednesday.

 

Thanks for reading!

lazyboyy

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This report is great because it shows how being direct with your intention and being confident in your sexuality pays off. It also shows that you can be flexible with how you meet and seduce women and don’t have to stick too closely to any particular style. In this case he was able to open a girl without talking at first and still lead to sex that night.