This happened in late 2008.
So I was sitting on a milk crate in a dirty alley, with my cock in a 31 year old woman’s mouth, thinking ‘How did I get here!?’
Back up an hour or so. I get to the city at 11.30pm. Me and my friend are walking along and I’m being social with everyone on the street, chatting to people, complimenting girls if they have cool outfits etc.
I see this older looking lady with a kind of dark gothic look going on, walking with a bike, and ask her why she’s not on it. She giggled, asked me who was asking, and we started flirting.
The vibe was SEXXX from the start, we didn’t really say anything logical to each other. I rode next to her on the bike for a bit, and our touching was so overt, hand holding, squeezing and these little dominance games where she’d twist my arm. I’d misinterpret everything as sex: She said ‘oh fuck me, I’m late for the party’ and I said ‘You want to fuck me? Sorry get me a drink first’ with a flirty tone.
We didn’t really talk about anything serious; all our words were just a context for us to pump the sexual tension. We had a very antagonistic playful frame happening. It was like we were in our own little world and we both knew what was going on, so what we said didn’t matter. We were walking along, lots of hugging and play fighting and pushing each other, stopping every now and then to slam her into a wall and dry hump her.
She told me she was a lesbian, which I thought was a lie, and I just said ‘good for you’ and didn’t let it change anything. It turns out she actually was one, but just missed dicks.
I recently watched Robbie Williams doing this crazy eye contact thing and nearly seducing an interviewer, and this is pretty much what I was doing: Looking RIGHT into her eye, no matter what, for periods of 30 or 40 seconds. She was staring right back and loving the tension we were creating. Whatever we were saying didn’t really matter, it was just the burning sex desire. The vibe was playful but challenging, as if we were playing mind games and trying to psyche each other out…or out sex each other. She’d say stuff like ‘you think you’re in control…but your not. I have the sexual power!’ while grinning and then shed twist my arm. She was pretty dominant. I just started right back and grinned like I thought whatever she was saying was cute.
She later told me that she was attracted to how bold I was being, and thought it was a very fresh perspective. She was surprised that a 19 year old kid was acting like he was more sexually experienced than her, a kinky experimental 31 year old.
The touching was getting pretty crazy, it was like we were play fighting, and I got a MASSIVE hard on, and didn’t wanna draw attention to it by tucking it, so I kept turning my back to try to hide it, and it made her play fighting more intense. BUT she saw the boner and could not stop looking at it. She kept pushing herself up on me, against the wall, and I was fighting back, but at the same time worried that it’d look like I was attacking her and cause a scene. I was just matching the same amount of aggression she was bringing to the flirting: slamming her into walls and biting her neck all on Swanston in front of people. When she saw that I was willing to step up and play on her naughty level this furthered her attraction to me. She liked the fact that I wasn’t afraid to take a risk and be a bit dangerous. But more importantly she liked the fact that I could read her body language and vibe, and tell it was appropriate for me to escalate on her. Women love it when a man can read their signals; it means they can trust him to be aware of how she’s feeling, it means she can relax and be in the moment without having to worry about him doing the wrong thing. It also shows that he has experience, and finally it’s something that many men lack. Many women have been on the receiving end of so much uncalibrated male attention that meeting a man who’s on her level is a rare and exciting experience.
I’m holding her hand and leading her, and she asks ‘where are we going?’ ‘Over here.’ I replied and we walk to a bench. I sat down, and she sits so leg legs are across my lap/boner, and starts rubbing my dick through my pants while grinning sexually. We still haven’t kissed yet. My wing says ‘Hey I’ll go grab some food…’ he knew when to leave.
so I take her down a side street further under the guise of ‘finding some stairs to show you something cool’ (I planned to kiss her on the stairs), and she just leaves her expensive sports bike and follows me! Then she pulls me into a more private lane-way. So this is 10 minutes after meeting, probably more like 5 mins.
She starts making “stairs” (a seat) from milk crates and tells me to stand on them. I sit down and she sits down on a lower one, face in line with my crotch. We’ve been holding hands playing power struggle games the whole time, she’s really aggressive, and I grab her hand and put it on my dick. I’m still doing intense eye contact/sly seductive smile combo the whole time. It’s like I knew from the start what she wanted and knew I could make it happen.
I start to open my fly and she goes ‘I want to see it’ and my dick comes out. She sits there on the milk crate just marvelling at it, holding it between both hands. After a while she starts licking and kissing it. She keeps looking at it, telling me how pretty it is, and is genuinely fascinated with it. Sometimes she would pause for 40 seconds and just stare at it from different angles, pulling the skin in different ways etc. the fact that she was a lesbian and had a girlfriend probably meant she missed dicks (she later confirmed this, she hadn’t seen one in 2 years and said ‘it’s been so long since I’ve had a dick!’). She still hadn’t kissed me at that point…the lesson is escalation doesn’t always have to linear.
She started sucking it, getting really into it and making crotch thrusting movements, and told me she wanted to fuck me up the ass with a dildo, and that she’d be able to fuck me harder than I could fuck her. I found this a little off putting but hey, when you’re getting your dick sucked 5-10 minutes after meeting someone, who’s complaining? The laneway was next to the cop station, and cops kept walking past the window and glancing over. Every time this happened, I’d look up, and she would sense my reaction and turn to check if anyone was there, but by then the cop was gone, already past the window. I’d just say ‘what? There’s no one there baby’ and she’d go back to work licking and sucking my cock. This happened 4 or 5 times, I’m sure the thrill of being caught excited her on some level.
Then in the middle of all this, another girl I’m seeing called me and I was like ‘hey I’m busy…’. Great timing. It’s an open relationship and she’s very relaxed about sex, I told her the full story later and she thought it was awesome.
The lesbian didn’t let me cum, on purpose. She said that the next time I blew it’d be better. (She was right, the next time I fucked my lady friend who had called me, it was amazing). I sat there with burning eye contact, told her to finish what she started, but I wasn’t really in a position to bargain. We walked back towards the street, and I kept pushing her into walls and dry fucking her while we kissed. At one point we kissed with our eyes closed for 30 seconds, and when I opened them a 50 yr old cop was standing right there. He was within 40cms of my face. He must have been standing there watching us the whole time. He was cool though, and just told us to take it somewhere more private.
She said ‘I don’t normally go for men…they don’t turn me on. I don’t know what you did…The eye contact and the play fighting was so exiting…maybe it was your innocence…you have a really beautiful cock. It’s so pretty, seriously its like a work of art’.
Pretty cool compliment to receive as a 19 year old.
We walk out of the lane and it turns out her bike got stolen! To my surprise, she was totally not fussed about it. She just said ‘ah well, that’s what I get for sucking off some guy I just met and forgetting to lock my bike…’ A very Zen reaction if you ask me.
I hung out with her for about 20 minutes after that, and she bought me some fries. She was really mature; it was so refreshing. We just talked about non-sex related stuff, her work and my music, and her life experience, her relationship with her girlfriend, how she’s against the penis shape of most buildings and wants to design a vagina shaped building.
I was actually enjoying talking to her. She was really cool and interesting to just hang with, and I told her to come to my next gig just as a friend, and to bring her girlfriend. she was interested and asked my bands name, but didn’t wanna give me her number. I understood, for her it was just a random sexual adventure with no strings attached.
Things I learned:
-Not apologising for your desire and having a sly sexy smile is great in the appropriate context.
-Eye contact can be so powerful!
-Once you’re already flirting with a girl, them finding out that you have a hard on can be a massive turn on: they can see the sexual effect they’re having on you, which can make them feel very sexy and seductive.
-Taking escalation windows: imagine if I had missed/ignored her subtle sexual signals and tried to have a deep conversation with this woman? You have to assess each situation as it comes and take the appropriate action. There is no one size fits all approach to seduction because every woman is different. I was able to calibrate and see this girl was in a sexual state and just wanted to be taken on a wild sexual adventure then and there.
-Seduction is not linear. You don’t always have to kiss first… she put my penis in her mouth before we kissed!