Rapid Escalation

This story shows how girls make no sense and will engage in weird conversation with strangers if they feel relaxed around you. The reason I get away with saying weird things is that I’m able to show her that I KNOW I’m being weird and I’m not oblivious to it.

I was walking home and I saw a cute girl, so I turned and walked after her.

“Hey!” I said to her.

“Oh! Hi…” she said, a little startled. Her pace quickened as she tried to walk away from me.

“That was a little weird wasn’t it…let me try that again” I said, stepped back and approached again and said hello.

She gave me a weird look and kept walking quickly.

“What are you up to?” I asked, plowing on.

“Oh I just finished work.”

I scanned her up and down and said “You don’t look like you work in an office…”

She asked me what I was doing and I said I was walking home but then saw her walk past and wanted to say hello. She smiled, said “Aww that’s cute. I’m Jane” and we continued chatting.

We crossed the street together and I asked her what she was doing now, she said she was going home. “Oh cool, can I come home with you?”

She gave me a sly look and said “My boyfriend wouldn’t like that…”

“You sure? He might be into a spitroast…”

“Haha no I don’t think he’d be into that…”

“You know what you should do? You should ask him when he’s asleep. And wait for him to nod in his sleep and then he pretty much said yes.”

“Haha yeah then I could record it…”

“Yeah! And then you have the evidence of him saying yes. So then you get him drunk and he’s passed out, and we fuck while you kiss him…so it’s technically a threesome because he’s involved, but really it’s just a way for us to bang without you cheating.”

“Oh. My. God. I admire your confidence but like…don’t ever say that to anyone, ever again…” she said, trailing off uncomfortably.

“Eh. What do I have to lose. You already said you have a boyfriend.”

Her face lit up and she smiled. “True! Good point! Wow when you put it like that…”

“I like to have fun. It’s worth risking weirding you out.”

“By the way, my names actually Sarah. I gave you a fake name before…you seemed really weird when you approached first…”

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” I absolutely CRACKED up laughing in her face. “I love women! They make no sense, yet they make total sense!” I started yelling to the street “Women are crazy! Women are crazy!”

She gave me a quizzical look and I explained: “You’re not sure about me when I approach honestly, shy and nervous…but then when I suggest that I fuck you from behind in a dark rooom while your boyfriend is passed out, suddenly THAT is the thing that makes you want to tell me your real name and get to know me.”

“Yeah…well…uhhh…” she got a little flustered, then we continued chatting.

Eventually I asked “Anyway, do you have single friends I can bang?”

“Um…yeah! Like two or three.”

“Sweet. We should stay in touch so you can hook me up and live through me.”

“Uhh…look, once again… I admire your confidence but that’s taking it too far!”

“Nah. It’s true.” I replied, and she smiled.

We chatted a bit more, she took my facebook, and I said “We should have a goodbye hug…”

And she said “ I really want to, but…”

“SHE WANTS TO HUG ME!” I yelled to everyone on the street.

We hugged and when I got home she had added me on Facebook. Next step: get her boyfriend drunk…

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